Tag: survivor

Beyond Frustration

When I am frustrated with life, my negative talk, meaning the voice in my head that can be self-deprecating, is yelling at me.

Can you relate?

Frustration can lead to growth.

Each day I work on remembering that we grow through life.

It all depends on perspective.

I admit there are moments that I am cursing under my breath, and I regress.

I did have one of those days recently and found myself pissed off at the world.

I was so uncomfortable in that mood, and it took several hours for me to come to the understanding of what exactly had set me off.

It was a typical day for Steve and me. We were driving through town, noticing the new building and changes that were taking place right under our noses and so quickly.

I noticed I was getting aggravated, and I had no idea why. I didn’t like the gloomy outlook that I was sitting in.

As I contemplated my mood and explored my feelings, I began to see a glimpse of the cause.

I wasn’t sure if it was something I wanted to share or could speak out loud. I was vulnerable and was worried that I would share my dark cloud by discussing it.

Later that evening, when we were talking about trivial things, I got my nerve up.

I told Steve how I ended up so angry and wasn’t sure why.

In hindsight, it is so easy for me to see the “why.”

Those emotional, scary cancer thoughts had snuck up on me once again.

You might know the thoughts.

The thoughts that show up most often as you contemplate another test.

‘Will I be here when”?

My outlook on life has changed over the years.

My perspective began to evolve before my diagnosis, and thank goodness it had.

And that is how I deal with frustration.

I examine it while crossing my fingers that, in the end, I will grow from it.

I’ve learned to give myself grace.

And that in its self is growth.

How’s Your Flow? – A Happy Habit

 

How’s your flow?

No, I’m not talking about your Aunt Flo who comes to visit every month — or in my case use to come for a visit.

Finding your flow – is essential Habit of Happy People.

Ok, this one is new to me, but the more I have read about it –I realize that “It” is a necessary form of happiness in my life.

I have noticed that when I feel stagnant, I am not at my best, and I think “out of sorts,” and this can eventually lead me to be grumpy or just plain sad.

But I’ve learned how I can quickly recover.

When we are involved in trying to reach a goal or an activity that is challenging but well suited to our skills, we experience a joyful state called “flow.”

“The loss of self-consciousness that happens when you are completely absorbed in an activity – intellectual, professional, or physical — is described in contemporary psychology as a state of flow.”

When I find myself in a bit of a funk, the following is an example of a routine I have learned to follow.

I start by clearing my mind. I need to quiet all the chatter in my head. The noise is not serving me and is causing the distraction that is causing me to be stagnant.

Here is how I clear my mind. Let’s call it a mind sweep. I’ve learned this from David Allen’s book Getting Things Done. David often states that our brains are for having ideas, not storing them.

The more we keep in our brains, the more stressed we become. Stress does not lead to happiness.

Now it is time to dump what is in my mind.

So I will write a list. On my list is everything that I can think of that I have not gotten to yet.
Like;
Fix the leaky sink
Pick up the drycleaning
Buy the airline tickets
Sweep the porch
Write this week’s blog post
Plan some social media content
Plan next week’s meals
Organize the kitchen
Clean out the closet
And the list goes on and on.

And when I can’t come up with anything else to add to the list, I feel so much better because now I can see a way of getting some if not all of my tasks completed.

I start by seeing what tasks I can have someone else accomplish. I will call it my “honey-do list.” Repairs around the house. If my Honey can’t do it, he can call the repairman. He certainly can take care of the dry cleaning since it is on his way to the office.

I continue going down the list and creating a plan of action and going from task to task. Not all of the to-dos will get crossed off the list at that time. The important thing is that they have become organized on paper, and a plan of action is in place. And I can now breath a little easier because I am mo longer holding them in my mind.

And this is when I do my best thinking. Because now I get to decide which project I want to do next.

I have a hobby that has turned into a project and two-plus years later

My project has also become my “Side Gig.”

“My project” leads me to find my flow. It can be an emotional outlet for me, where I share my feelings. It has surprised me at times when my creativity blossoms.

I am in my flow when I am working on my social media. I get excited and energized with new ideas. I meet new friends often. I learn something new each day. It might be something I’ve learned from you, or it may be a new way of posting content.

Either way, it all brings me joy, and that is when I know I am in my flow.