NotoriousMBC – What’s in a name

 

So, am I ⁠

Question: Sherry or Shaw-ri? ⁠

 

Answer:   Shaw-ri

My entire life the double pronunciation shows up

 

Question:⁠.  Sheranian, what nationality is that?⁠

Steve’s family culture is originally from Armenia.

If you remember that fact. You can usually pronounce the surname name.

 

Put them both together:

People like the way it rolls off the tongue.       Shari Sheranian

⁠and where or why did I choose

“NotoriousMBC”⁠

Opening the door a bit⁠ –  Or I often say to Steve,  “inside my mind and/or madness”

 

I have thought through the years of changing the name.

People ask about it and just don’t understand it.

 

And I am so glad I have did not.

It means more to me now than ever before.

This is my why behind the name

 

I was pondering for a name, my website, blog, for my overall story.  

The NotoriousRBG came to my mind.

And that was it.  

NotoriousMBC

Notorious Metastatic Breast Cancer

www.notoriousmbc.com

Learn a little more about the NotoriousRBG

 Top 10 Amazing Amazing Facts about RBG

For this list, we’re looking at fascinating facts about this prominent political figure and a progressive icon who was one of the first women appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court.

At 5’1″ and barely 100 pounds, Ruth Bader Ginsburg earned her nickname The Notorious RBG by the sheer force of who she was as a judge: a feminist icon, a rebel, an unwavering voice and advocate for justice. And yes – after Notorious Big’s died, the public coined her nickname, and she was a cultural icon.

 

Supreme Court Justice, Ruth Badder Ginsburg made wearing her infamous dissent collars as a statement.

 

And she had a closet full.

Each collar meant something specific about the time she spent as a Supreme Court Justice.

 

I can understand Ruth finding something to wear over the black robes that would drown her petite frame.

 I’d love to know if she left these collars to anyone specific. I believe that many she received as gifts.

RBG has a specific sense of humor that everyone loved.

 

This now-famous collar came into Ruth’s possession when she attended the Glamours Woman of the year event in 2012.

She received this in a “swag bag” at the event. She explained that she chose to wear it as her dissent collar while serving on the Supreme Court from this point forward.

 

When asked why this is the dissent collar, she told Katie Couric that quite simply, “It looks fitting for dissent.” RBG is known to wear the collar when the Supreme Court announces a decision she is against, but she has worn it on other occasions, such as the day after Donald Trump’s election in 2016.

 

Many are saddened. We knew it was coming. 

 

The number of times she has battled cancer and been in active treatment. As a cancer patient, I cringe when people say to me in conversation that I am putting in a “good fight.” 

 

In my thoughts, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is the name that comes to mind. 

 

She is a woman who I have inspired to emulate through life. She is an “Icon,” a “Force” as a woman, feminist, and a cancer patient. 

 

I feel a bit selfish, knowing how much of her life she has accomplished. I know there were many days that she fought on feeling like shit.

The will never be another like her. Thank you RBG

 

 

 

 

 

Fear is to be understood

 

 

𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘥 —

This is a loaded statement.

The elephant in the room that people are not comfortable talking about is death.

I believe that anyone who is traveling on a late-stage cancer road, death is a conversation they are willing to have.

Or at least that is my experience.

Mind you, not everyone wants to hear what I have to say about it. And sometimes I walk away, biting my tongue because of the uneasiness that it has caused.

People who know me well will confirm that. 

I am always an open book.

If you don’t want to hear my opinion, you shouldn’t ask me.

My argument if I really need one,

is it is time to understand more,⁠ ⁠so that we may be fearless?⁠ ⁠ ⁠ 

When I say understand more, I’m not saying my thinking is right or wrong.

It is merely what I have found to be the truth for myself.

How do we understand our fear or at least accept our fear?

Inner peace

What brings me peace when I think of my fear “death” as my example won’t necessarily feel the same for you.

I have learned to develop an inner-peace through my experience.

Over time I’ve found what works for me. I refer to it as “my personal way” of mediation.

 

This is the beautiful thing about meditating — 

It is what you decide it is for you.

 

Sitting still in a room and trying to meditate has never worked for me.

 

A few years ago, I noticed that when I was disconnected or found myself in an unfamiliar physical space– my thoughts were less restricted. 

 

I was training my mind to way to drift into a different place.

 

When I have the opportunity to be in the silence of nature, my own meditation process becomes very natural.

Laying in an MRI machine is obviously the furthest thing from being in the great outdoors.

But I’ve learned to trick my brain.

 

Whatever it takes to “let go,” this is when my mind clears of the everyday thoughts.

 

I begin by moving my thoughts to gratitude.

 

I use memories that bring my loving, grateful, and peaceful moments.  

This helps my mind to go from one grateful thought to another.

 

Each time I’ve had the opportunity to travel, I collect memories specifically to recall for a needed time.

This works well for me.

When I need to, I can mentally and emotionally travel to different destinations by using my memories.

This is what calms me.

 

I use this method when I undergo cancer testing and scans.

The times when I need to release anxiety.

 

I have noticed that when I’ve completed my own meditative experience, I often have my best ideas come to mind.

 

an example

 

When I’ve needing to reach out to a family member or friend. Not knowing how to handle a situation.

 

It is very affirming to me that I have reset my mind and spirit and am ready for comes next.

 

Again, there is no right or wrong way to meditate.

You don’t need to call it meditation.

 

Do the discovery that is waiting for you.  It is there for you to reach out and touch it.

Your personal journey to experiencing inner peace.

⁠ ⁠ ⁠

Assisted Living & Salt & Vinegar Chips


⁠We snuck in a short visit with dad.

If you know my dad

First when he says jump,

you ask how high?

You don’t tell this man no.

My mother died last July. They had been married for 66 years.

My dad is 90 years old and yes his health went downhill especially after mom had passed.

Like most of us would be at 90 years old he is extremely stubborn. Well, he always has been.

He made a decision for himself to move into an assisted living home.

We are so grateful he made that decision.

Honestly, he doesn’t like his kids doing anything for him.

I think his choice to make the move was simply so that we weren’t all trying to take care of him. And we wouldn’t need to do everything for him.

He would rather pay someone else to do it.

He seems happier with this situation.

That being said he is obviously

So bored

The assisted living home has kept all of its residents free from the coronavirus to date.

They are serving all meals in their rooms.

They are practicing social distancing.

IF they leave to even go to a doctor’s appointment they are put in quarantine for 14 days.

Even at his age and in his health dad expects a lot from himself and his body.

When the weather allows he walks around the complex all day long.

We can drop off his favorite treats for him.

I talk to him almost every day and he will always say he doesn’t need anything.,

Then he will call and ask for diet coke and salt and vinegar chips.

So we make our run to get him what he has requested plus something extra that I know he likes.

I’ll call his cell when the goodies are in the building.

Then he always tells me I’ll be right there.

Don’t leave. Wait for a minute I’ll be right there.

Ten minutes later he appears from around the far corner of the property.

We were happy we had Fred with us.

He gave him some much-needed attention while we distanced ourselves from him.

I realized that Fred was more than likely the first breathing body that Dad had touched for how long?

A heartbeat and warm stinky breath

That thought is so sad for all the individuals who are isolated even with people so close by.

We stood outside with Dad in the sun and just enjoying the fresh air.

Knowing dad was happy to have a little company. And especially the love of a dog.

Then some lady appeared out of the blue. She told us we were breaking the rules and needed to leave.

So we did.

And we most likely will do it again.

 

The game you play

Steve and I often refer to the treatment of stage 4 cancer as whack-a-mole.

It is constant and rarely takes much of a break.

My almost four years since diagnosis has been smooth sailing for most of the time.⁠

I am one of the lucky ones, and I have outlived my prognosis.
.
The MRI showed that the three spots have increased in size since the last scan, which was approximately a month ago.⁠

Yes

I am happy to report that steroids have helped with the headaches and given me a fantastic boost of energy and mental clarity.

No

Taking the steroids did not reduce the edema or the growth of the three lesions.⁠

We are in the same place that we were last month when we first met with the neurologist.

These three little buggers have been around since 2017.

First, we have already treated the three spots with radiation.

Stereotactic treatment quieted the lesions down for a year. But most likely also has caused some brain necrosis. Thirty percent of all patients treated with any radiation in their body ends up with disease in the area. And is referred to as necrosis.

So now what?

We have been crossing off possibilities.

And I am ok with that. This is what it looks like when you have metastatic breast cancer.

Doing the steroids and repeat scan was one way of waiting before surgical removal of any of the lesions.⁠

We will speak with the neurologist soon.

In the meantime, a new PET scan will take place to make sure that the rest of my body is still considered NEAD.

I can be thankful for Herceptin helping to keep my lungs, liver, and bones in this state.

As I write this update, we are all dealing with the desperate situation of the coronavirus.

I send my love to each of you.

Beyond Frustration

When I am frustrated with life, my negative talk, meaning the voice in my head that can be self-deprecating, is yelling at me.

Can you relate?

Frustration can lead to growth.

Each day I work on remembering that we grow through life.

It all depends on perspective.

I admit there are moments that I am cursing under my breath, and I regress.

I did have one of those days recently and found myself pissed off at the world.

I was so uncomfortable in that mood, and it took several hours for me to come to the understanding of what exactly had set me off.

It was a typical day for Steve and me. We were driving through town, noticing the new building and changes that were taking place right under our noses and so quickly.

I noticed I was getting aggravated, and I had no idea why. I didn’t like the gloomy outlook that I was sitting in.

As I contemplated my mood and explored my feelings, I began to see a glimpse of the cause.

I wasn’t sure if it was something I wanted to share or could speak out loud. I was vulnerable and was worried that I would share my dark cloud by discussing it.

Later that evening, when we were talking about trivial things, I got my nerve up.

I told Steve how I ended up so angry and wasn’t sure why.

In hindsight, it is so easy for me to see the “why.”

Those emotional, scary cancer thoughts had snuck up on me once again.

You might know the thoughts.

The thoughts that show up most often as you contemplate another test.

‘Will I be here when”?

My outlook on life has changed over the years.

My perspective began to evolve before my diagnosis, and thank goodness it had.

And that is how I deal with frustration.

I examine it while crossing my fingers that, in the end, I will grow from it.

I’ve learned to give myself grace.

And that in its self is growth.

Boost of Confidence

. . . . . . . . . .  . . . . . . . . . .  . . . . . . . . . .  

How do you see yourself?

How confident are you?

I love connecting with people and hearing their stories.

I recently read “In Pieces” by Sally Fields.

Ok, in all honesty, I listened to it on @Audible.

You most likely are familiar with this famous actress, and this is her memoir.

I’m not going to give you the juicy details, but I do highly recommend you check it out.

I understood myself a little better while connecting with Sally through her own experience in life.

Our own story as a child can and will innocently create the perspective we have of who we are.

How I viewed or thought of myself was developed from the following,

Unwanted because I was placed for adoption

Not Loveable because I was a mistake.

Deformed and lucky to be adopted into a family that can afford orthodontia.

Because I am too short, it must be the reason he cheated.

Crazy, yes, but I had decided it was true.

Then at 45 years old, I learned that there was not an ounce of truth to any of these beliefs I’d developed over the years.

I’ve been grateful every day since because before that day because up until that day, I did not know who I was.

Long story short, you can move past your self-doubt and limiting beliefs. And you can become a more confident individual.

……………………..

Having a rough day? Don’t worry, most of us do!

I am and will always be a work in progress and there are moments that I forget who I am.  And I do realize that I am not the only person who struggles with my self-confidence.

I’ve listed a few things that often help me.

Remind yourself that it will pass and give yourself a mood-boosting time out.

Are you a Grey’s Anatomy fan?

Have a Meredith and Christina Yang dance party.

Think about Wonder Woman. What is your power pose?

Stand up straight, roll your shoulders back, and lift your chin.

Remember, every day is a new day.

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