Denial is a great thing?

 

This photoshoot took place ten days ago.

 

Here I am

 

Let’s start with body image.

You will see the different shots through this article.

I am going to share my thoughts with you today.

I’m talking about all the times I’ve stayed away from a social media post that deals with breast cancer. Are they all sharing the whole story or the entire truth?

When first diagnosed in 2016, I had not been personally involved in or sat beside anyone else dealing with this disease.

I believe that if you haven’t experienced it, you will remain naive.

I believe this works in our journey of life.

October cannot serve as a pink profit capitalization. The five-year survival rate after a stage four breast cancer diagnosis is 22 percent.

The color pink is not a cure.

Breast cancer is one of the most funded cancers in the world. However, more research must move forward, metastatic breast cancer, spreading to another part of the body.

We are losing too many loved ones from a breast cancer diagnosis in 2020.

Let’s not subject ourselves to pinkwashing and forgetting the reality that breast cancer presents.

and now

Another short rant from me

I believe we should always work on ourselves.

If you have experienced this as a late-stage or metastatic patient, I know you understand and have experienced this.

You learn to bite your tongue.

Suppose I am asked specifically about this.  I will share what I have learned.

But

If I had a dollar each time I hear from an earlier stage breast cancer patient or their family member mentions.

“I was in stage 1-2 ” It has been five years. My cancer illness is complete.

I pray these people are one hundred percent correct.

There is a percentage out there that cancer will return to their body at some time and place. The more years you stay cancer-free; yes, the better the rate and your chances that this doesn’t happen.

Those first five years are frightening.

You hit that five-year mark, and you haven’t had a recurrence, and that is a huge deal.

Positive and realistic is what I pray we all can be.

Please don’t ruin your life by obsessing about cancer.

We always need to be working on ourselves.

This is how I feel about being a stage four patient.

She said it so well.

Oliva Newton-John

“You know what? I don’t know what my time is, but I need to enjoy my life. So, I’m going to eat a cookie if I want it. And I’m going to have a cup of tea if I want it. And if I want to have a little bit of wine, I’m gonna do that. Because of the joy of life and everyday living has to be a part of that healing process as well.”

And Scene

September 2015 Less than a year before mbc diagnosis

How do you stay in the moment and stay present and not let it consume you and worry you?

Why me?

“Why me?” has never been a part of it

I have never felt victimized.

Shortly after my diagnosis in 2016, I was internally asking myself—this question.

“Why not.”

Maybe I needed to create a reason to make it ok for myself.

I’ve told so many of you through the years.

You choose to.

I keep the following this close to my heart.

Cancer isn’t necessarily a death sentence

Compassion and empathy for others is a healing force

Gratitude is the best medicine

feelitonthefirst 2018

The Prognosis

The percentage of people who pass away because of metastatic breast cancer is very high. If I were to focus and obsess on those numbers, I most likely would not have surpassed what the doctors told me in 2016.

Yes, it does cross my mind. Specifically, when I get reminded that I have tumors growing in my brain or repeat PET scans due.

So I sit there, and I feel it. I get scared and emotional. I’ve learned to work through these emotions and, most importantly, move forward.

I focus on finding peace in every moment.

I search for the positive and the intention behind my thoughts and actions.

As well as others.

I dream of the future.

I affirm what that future looks like.

May 2019 – a year before dexamethasone. I thought I was overweight and out of shape. Fat has always been my own body image. zzz

I do my best not to think about it all often. It is easiest to explain this by simply stating I don’t obsess.

I work on keeping my mind and heart at peace.

And the metastatic breast cancer path that I have chosen.

When I write my thoughts and experience with you, they are raw and fresh on my mind.

This is my perfect place to process and work on my mind and attitude.

Sending well wishes and health to us all.

 

NotoriousMBC – What’s in a name

 

So, am I ⁠

Question: Sherry or Shaw-ri? ⁠

 

Answer:   Shaw-ri

My entire life the double pronunciation shows up

 

Question:⁠.  Sheranian, what nationality is that?⁠

Steve’s family culture is originally from Armenia.

If you remember that fact. You can usually pronounce the surname name.

 

Put them both together:

People like the way it rolls off the tongue.       Shari Sheranian

⁠and where or why did I choose

“NotoriousMBC”⁠

Opening the door a bit⁠ –  Or I often say to Steve,  “inside my mind and/or madness”

 

I have thought through the years of changing the name.

People ask about it and just don’t understand it.

 

And I am so glad I have did not.

It means more to me now than ever before.

This is my why behind the name

 

I was pondering for a name, my website, blog, for my overall story.  

The NotoriousRBG came to my mind.

And that was it.  

NotoriousMBC

Notorious Metastatic Breast Cancer

www.notoriousmbc.com

Learn a little more about the NotoriousRBG

 Top 10 Amazing Amazing Facts about RBG

For this list, we’re looking at fascinating facts about this prominent political figure and a progressive icon who was one of the first women appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court.

At 5’1″ and barely 100 pounds, Ruth Bader Ginsburg earned her nickname The Notorious RBG by the sheer force of who she was as a judge: a feminist icon, a rebel, an unwavering voice and advocate for justice. And yes – after Notorious Big’s died, the public coined her nickname, and she was a cultural icon.

 

Supreme Court Justice, Ruth Badder Ginsburg made wearing her infamous dissent collars as a statement.

 

And she had a closet full.

Each collar meant something specific about the time she spent as a Supreme Court Justice.

 

I can understand Ruth finding something to wear over the black robes that would drown her petite frame.

 I’d love to know if she left these collars to anyone specific. I believe that many she received as gifts.

RBG has a specific sense of humor that everyone loved.

 

This now-famous collar came into Ruth’s possession when she attended the Glamours Woman of the year event in 2012.

She received this in a “swag bag” at the event. She explained that she chose to wear it as her dissent collar while serving on the Supreme Court from this point forward.

 

When asked why this is the dissent collar, she told Katie Couric that quite simply, “It looks fitting for dissent.” RBG is known to wear the collar when the Supreme Court announces a decision she is against, but she has worn it on other occasions, such as the day after Donald Trump’s election in 2016.

 

Many are saddened. We knew it was coming. 

 

The number of times she has battled cancer and been in active treatment. As a cancer patient, I cringe when people say to me in conversation that I am putting in a “good fight.” 

 

In my thoughts, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is the name that comes to mind. 

 

She is a woman who I have inspired to emulate through life. She is an “Icon,” a “Force” as a woman, feminist, and a cancer patient. 

 

I feel a bit selfish, knowing how much of her life she has accomplished. I know there were many days that she fought on feeling like shit.

The will never be another like her. Thank you RBG

 

 

 

 

 

Hakuna Mata

 

 

Going in for surgery on your brain during a lockdown – on the one hand, yes, I am so very grateful to be having the treatment. On the other hand, I was scared, terrified.

 

After the past three months, I have been slowly starting edge my way back into the wild.

 

At times,  I am nervous and scared going into these repeat scans.

Today I will have a repeat MRI to check on the progress and swelling of my brain.

I will also have a full PET scan on my body. It has been six months since the last.

 

From my original diagnosis in 2016, I have been considered a stage four metastatic breast cancer patient having cancer in several areas of my body.

 

After my original chemo treatment and continued medication, my body scan has shown no change. NEAD (no evidence of active disease).

 

Yes, a feat on its own. And a reason to celebrate as a triple-positive breast cancer patient Herceptin has worked for me.

 

If you know me well, I hesitate to talk about this subject, let alone write about it and throwing it out in the universe.

 

Maybe you are out of the loop.

 

I had a craniotomy on June 3, 2020, to remove one growing tumor.

 

Honestly, the shit show scares me more than ever while awaiting scan results.

I feel that I am in “the” right place, both physically and mentally.

 

But I can’t stay in a safe bubble forever.

 

It is time once again and take the plunge and face the reality of metastatic breast cancer.

 

Scanxiety doesn’t serve me, so I’m once again releasing that energy.

 

It is a day to day and scan to scan learning.

 

I am accepting whatever will eventually show up again. Because the truth is that is what happens with metastatic disease.

 

Metastatic breast cancer remains without a cure. Many patients live beyond their diagnosis as I have and will continue for many years.

 

I am not able to control what is in my body.

But I can choose and control how I feel about it.

I will continue to serve myself and my heart.

I will not obsess about what I can not control.

Don’t worry, just be happy.