There are two sides

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So often, I hear, “you look great.” It is such a double-edged sword.

 

I do not want to be defined by my disease.

 

We all live through our lives with not being just one thing.

 

Everyone has two sides, but both sides make up who you are. 

You can allow both sides to have a place in your life.

 

I’ve chosen to use the traumas as lessons to help or aid in becoming a better version of myself.

 

Cancer treatment and weight gain

 

Yes. Weight gain does take place during cancer treatment. Pharmaceutical treatment is always one of the culprits. Add other issues during a world panromantic. How many comfort foods have you prepared and enjoyed since March?

 

I’ve stopped baking the treats and fattening meals.  Yes, I eat it.  I just make sure I am making less fattening choices.

 

As I notice the looks or stares from people who have no idea why I am sporting a mohawk and scar on my head, I admit its best for my thoughts to quickly move forward.

 

It makes me giggle a little when I remember my “moon face” and the COVID mask that I wear.

 

No wonder it is both kids and adults.

 

If you haven’t had this experience, let me explain a bit more about a cancer patient’s appearance like mine.

 

Facial swelling, also often referred to as moon face, sometimes occurs while taking steroids like dexamethasone. It is one of the common side effects of prednisone.  A moon face is a medical sign when a rounded appearance on the sides of your face.

 

I will add that the swelling is also in my neck.

 

You may have heard of steroid rage.  

 

No, I am not experiencing anything like it.

 

I will mention, the internal buffer that I have had regarding my thoughts and words disappeared—my poor sweet husband. Of course, Steve is the safest person in my life, and the first person my buffer comes off with.   

 

Honestly, I like this version of myself. Because I have so much to learn from myself during my natural outbursts’.

 

When asking Steve about the situation, he was getting in trouble all the time. That was my red flag for sure.

 

Honestly, at about week two of my “naughty.” Lack of a better word. I at least knew to “stay in my lane” and tone things down. My experience was similar to a bad case of PMS.  

 

I am so grateful to recognize these “types” of things in myself. I know I am blessed to deal with things, learn from them, and grow.

 

Brain surgery and radiation.

 

June 3, 2020, one operative tumor was removed craniotomy.

 

I completed five-pointed radiation zaps on the two nonoperative tumors in early August and scheduled with one day in-between each.

 

Stereotactic radiosurgery (SRS) is a non-surgical radiation therapy used to treat functional abnormalities and small tumors of the brain. It can deliver precisely-targeted radiation in fewer high-dose treatments than traditional therapy, which can help preserve healthy tissue.

 

What I’ve learned physically and emotionally during the last five months of my MBC journey.

 

I still quickly forget that I have a terminal disease.

 

Having brain surgery and brain radiation is similar to having a brain injury.

You adjust as you heal.  

 

I was reminded again how healthy my body and mind are.  

 

Dexamethasone 

 

The struggle is real, and the face is affected. “moon face.”

 

Lessons learned from brain swelling.

 

The steroid dexamethasone was introduced to me in February 2020. It has been such an experience to go through this challenging COVID year.  

 

Laughing in hindsight, I can see the humor in my experience.

 

Steve and I learned a lot during the last several months while I have been emotionally and mentally affected while it has been necessary to have this steroid in my body.

 

It is the goal to not have any brain swelling from the invasive cancer treatment.  

 

At this time, I still have swelling and additional issues if we don’t treat it. 

 

My “normal” internal buffer that I have had regarding my thoughts and words tend to disappear while taking this steroid. My poor sweet husband. I must remember to be extra patient with him in this situation. Of course, he is the safest person in my life, and so the first person that my buffer comes off with. Honestly, I like this version of myself. I learn so much from myself during my not so buffered experience of my thoughts and mind.

When asking Steve about the situation, he was getting in trouble all the time. That was my red flag for sure.

Honestly, week two of my “naughty.” Lack of a better word. I at least knew to “stay in my lane” and tone things down. My experience was similar to a bad case of PMS. And Steve brought this to my attention.

I am so grateful to recognize these “types” of things in myself. I know I am blessed to deal with things, learn from them, and grow.

Dexamethasone has helped me find my true self during a very mentally tricky time.

 

As of today, moon-face and weight gain are such a part of my life.

Every day I am more accepting of this side effect. 

It is necessary for many cancer patients just like me.

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