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Notorious MBC

Putting the can in cancer

A Gem of A Woman

September 19, 2019 by notoriousmbc Leave a Comment

 

It has taken me some time to accept the difficult things that I have learned regarding my biological family.

The circumstances and story I’ve learned are not at all what I was expecting when I decided to search for my birth mother.

It took several years for me to come to terms with my adoption. However, eventually, I did find peace in the knowledge that my biological mother had wished me dead from the time of my conception. You may think I’m being dramatic or exaggerating; however, I am not.

The only information that my sister Darlene was willing to share with me about our biological mother was that Pearl tried to use a coat hanger to abort me herself and end the pregnancy. The thought of this still makes me nauseous.

I tried to put this thought out of my mind by telling myself Darlene was trying to be hurtful and perhaps was jealous of the life I had led because of my fortunate adoption into a “normal” family if there is such a thing.

Darlene was fifteen years old when Pearl was pregnant with me. Oh, and I want to make sure to mention that that year was when Pearl abandoned her oldest daughter in Las Vegas, Nevada. It was 1963. That day was the last time Darlene ever saw her mother.

You might be wondering if I ever found Pearl and if we had a conversation.

The answer is yes. I had one phone conversation with my birth mom. Her words are etched into my soul like a knife to the gut.

The short conversation went something like this.

Hi, my name is Shari. I am trying to find out a few things about my medical history, and I am hoping to talk to you regarding my biological family.

Pearl said, Who is it you are trying to call?

I went on to tell her that I had been adopted by a family in Utah when I was two years old. I also mentioned that I was born at the LA County Hospital on October 17th, 1963.

Pearl told me that she had no idea who I wanted to talk to, but it wasn’t her.

I repeated myself by mentioning again my date of birth, that I had grown up in Utah since the age of two. I also said the names of her parents and even asked her about Darlene.

I will admit that I did throw her history in her face. I wanted her to be clear that she was the person I needed to find. And that she was the person who could answer my questions.

Pearl was forty years old when I was born. This conversation took place thirty-five years later. In my mind, I thought that she would have come to terms with the fact that she had given a child up. I also assumed that at seventy-five, she might be interested to know what my life had been like if nothing more than to have closure before her death.

But nothing could have been further from the truth.

Let’s get back to that conversation.

I told Pearl that I didn’t expect to have a relationship with her. I had a fantastic childhood, was married and had children of my own. I didn’t need anything from her besides information about my medical history.

There was silence on the other end of the phone,

and then Pearl said, “why would I want to talk to you; you are dead to me.”

That was it, and she hung up the phone.

Queue dramatic music.

I am not sharing this with you for you to feel sorry for me.

I share this with you because we each have something from our past. We have a choice to make; we can continue to have that chip on our shoulder to carry around with us for a lifetime. But if you are willing to deal with uncomfortable emotions, I recommend that you put your big girl pants on and dive right into the sludge. In the end, you will be better for it.

Now back to Pearl, the “Gem of a Woman” that carried me in her womb for nine months.

Later that day, I chose to write her a note. I apologized for catching her off guard and expecting a conversation with her. I included my address and phone number just in case she ever had a change of heart and wanted to get in touch.

I never heard from her, and she has since died.

Every year, International Peace Day rolls around on September 21st. For that reason, I chose peace to be the topic of September.

Picture your families, communities, colleagues, and schools. Think about the people who have something in their lives that they carry around from their past.

I’m sure you are aware of how often our issues and burdens affect us.

On that thought, remember how we all need to be accountable for what we carry into our relationships as well as how it not only affects us each day but everyone around us.

Do you have a chip on your shoulder because of something that happened to you?

I know that I had been carrying a large boulder.

Since my adopted mother passed away recently, I have been looking at photos from my past.

I was shocked as I carefully looked at pictures of myself from the age of 25-40 years old.

There was something about what I saw in my face that was different. It was a lost look. And was someone I didn’t recognize.

I thought about those photos for several days. And then it dawned on me.

I hadn’t realized how important it was for me to go through the ugliness and sadness of knowing the truth of “my beginning.”

I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted for so many years of my life. But through experiencing the hard journey, it led me to understand and believe in who I am today.

As difficult as it is to face our demons, once you do the work and get to the other side, similar to myself, you may not recognize yourself from the past.

And I am ok with that. Getting to the other side is exhilarating. Shari

 

 

 

Categories: Gratitude Tags: adoption, authentic, biological family, birth mom, change, comfort zone, communication, community, connection, development, family, gratitude, growth, heartfelt, inspiration, inspire, Life, love, search, understanding

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Attitude * Acceptance * Gratitude
MBC Triple Positive 2016

Shari Sheranian
Some days you just need a ride in the sun ☀️ Some days you just need 
a ride in the sun ☀️ 

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I needed that reminder.

“You cannot tailor make your situation in life, but you can tailor make your attitudes to fit those situations.” Zig Ziglar

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steroid/Dexamethasone for the brain swelling as of January 4th. 

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I even got a negative COVID-19 test, 
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And then suddenly without warning - surprise — I guess I turned the corner.

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#springtime
#zen
#cancerpatient
#friend
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#mood
#love
#support
#utah
#storm
#friendship
#positivity
#affirmatiom
#garden
#flower
#joy
#gratitude
#grateful
#spring
#french
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We’ve got a lot of that white stuff at our hous We’ve got  a lot of that white stuff
at our house. 

A few blocks away — not so much.

I’ve had a bit of the crud on top of it.
Or perhaps the seasonal blahs?

I need spring.

A month will pass quickly and the seasons will change again.  In Utah that usually means more snow.

Today I stopped by my favorite place to get a little “lift”

They never disappoint.

What is your favorite flower?

The 🌷 a tulip is mine

#springtime
#zen
#cancerpatient
#friend
#springfever
#herceptin
#oncology
#spirit
#mood
#love
#support
#utah
#storm
#friendship
#positivity
#affirmatiom
#garden
#flower
#springgarden
#annuals
Happy Valentines Day May we all love ❤️ as mu Happy Valentines Day

May we all love ❤️ as much as we always need to be loved.

A gigantic shout out to the boy who shows me his heart everyday.

Do you have special plans this weekend?

My energy has been low the last couple of weeks.  Then yesterday I had a thought and remember this — my last blood draw showed my red & white counts were low.  I picked up some iron to add to my daily regimen.  I let you know when I get the “pep back in my step”.

In the meantime love yourself and all those near and far.
Shari

@ssheranian
How often do you change your hair color? I’ve on How often do you change your hair color?
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The majority of you were Team Steve and picked his favorite blue subway tile

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But I remembered, I’ve always loved the herringbone pattern.

I’ve always loved a classic look.

The plan has been to add a pop of color to change things up each season.

I noticed some of your ideas were similar to mine.  And I am loving the look. 

Are you are one of the 14 who voted for herringbone tile? 

I have picked the winner 

Drum Roll

@sheranik @willeke_kremer @candacemclane_art @restore_yourhealth.hair @lorishoshana @nicholandphi @annetteaz1 @tina.jane.s @sacred_minds @chris__spellman @elisejonesyoga @meldrescig @xismyworld  @alequesne

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COVID Kitchen Remodel 
$100 VISA Cars

is

@lorishoshana

 Congratulations Lori!
Being completely transparent I had picked the Being  completely  transparent 

I had picked the 
tile for the backsplash a week ago.

And the backsplash was
finished today.

Will your choice match up to mine?
I will announce who wins the 
VISA card at 5 o’clock
Think about it... The color blue can be calming T Think about it...
The color blue can be calming

The tile that was picked

Drum 🥁 roll

In First place and with 20 votes

Happens to also be the

Pantone Color of the Year 2020 is Classic Blue—a familiar, calming shade of azure. The Pantone color of the year 2020, 19-4052 Classic Blue/Indigo

Here are some winners for you

@trailworks @ckenwyn @marymac1225 @kzukis @jcfrias @walplus @the.musing.mustard @mlekristen @merrirosie @lavernevasaallo @lianellemiller @ff_hughes @sacred_minds @sandramaslen @wrothpauline
Joining this contest and making it to Second plac Joining this contest
and making it to 
Second place 
getting 15 votes
is

E

Precious Poinsettias 
A pattern that fits well in all types 
of design and style.

 #COVIDkitchentilePicks are here

was this your tile pick?

@the.musing.mustard @paige_garrity  @mraheffern @patriciajacksonsa @allaboutbreastcancer @gingermovesmountains @nickis1033 @knowlaura @chalzafra @mskarenrae @mbkendall @dustyroads07 @lyndaarnell1 
@mraheffern
The Results are in Thank you for joining me and The Results are in

Thank you for joining me and 
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for the
COVID Kitchen Tile Picks

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The tried and true -Traditional Herringbone 

Was this your choice?

This tile received 14 points

And came in being the Third  choice 

Pay attention and you will most likely notice the 
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Shari

See who made this choice
@lorishoshana @sheranik @willeke_kremer @candacemclane_art @restore_yourhealth.hair @nicholandphi @annetteaz1 @bettina.j.s @sacred_minds @chris__spellman @elisejonesyoga @meldrescig @xismyworld @rmsgreeneyedlady @@rmsgreeneyedlady @violets_and_lavendar
Happy Weekend Vibes to You This is your chance to Happy Weekend Vibes to You

This is your chance to enter the
drawing for the $100 VISA card 

 
Did you match my pick?

Good Luck
Here I am And... I am on day five of NOT taking Here I am

And...
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Yesterday was Scan Day

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NEAD.  Once again thank you Herceptin.

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Such great news and another few months of breathing a little easier.

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What is this?⠀
⠀
The top three tile picks⠀
⠀
Drum Roll Please⠀
⠀
Fifty-Six⠀
⠀
Fifty-Six is the number of votes in the comments.⠀
⠀
The three tiles that are in the final running are⠀
G - that is the herringbone⠀
B - I'm calling it the indigo subway⠀
E-  the light grey poinsettias⠀
⠀
When you swipe left, you will see the three that received the most votes.⠀
⠀
Its time to vote one more time⠀
I will keep track of the numbers.⠀
If your choice matches mine, then you will be entered into a drawing.⠀
⠀
There will be one final winner. ⠀
I'll share who won the drawing.⠀
The winner will receive a $100 Visa Card.⠀
⠀
Leave your pick to be entered " G, B, or E" in your comment.⠀
⠀
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.⠀
.⠀
.⠀
.⠀
⠀
⁠⠀
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#strongmind⁠⠀
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#cottage ⁠⠀
#january⁠⠀
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#dreambig⠀
#travel⁠⠀
#countertops⁠⠀
#inspire⁠⠀
#backsplash⠀
Counters - Sinks - Faucets - are complete! Upda Counters - 
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Faucets -

are complete!

Updated video coming soon

and in the meantime

Swipe left and vote on these

choices by commenting

A B C D E F or G

Or maybe 🤔 a combination?

I just left HomeDepot 

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